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I FIB YOU NOT




The night before last, just after Mr. Man arrived home from work, I noticed this strange odor in my family room. What sludge had my hubby consumed for lunch, I wondered. Now I’m not the Queen and haven’t had the operation, so I too occasionally let a ripper fly, but this smelled worse than anything I’d ever released or had the misfortune to breathe in. I gave Mr. Man the evil eye and he smirked but protested that it wasn’t him. Like I haven’t heard that before. Well, the kids were playing in the basement, so it wasn’t them, and unless my body had started letting off without my being aware of it, (is that something that happens after you turn 40?)  it certainly wasn’t me. So that left the dog.

That’s right, blame it on the dog. However, this did not smell like Bella’s usual brand. It was toxic enough to make my eyes water. Hmm, could it be that dog chew treat that I’d given her today? Was she experiencing digestive issues? What else could it be?

I chucked the chewy in the trash and the offensive smelling dog outside so that she could convert her gas into a solid. Luckily for her, it was a mild November evening.

When bedtime rolled around, I let Bella back inside but she brought the stink in with her. Man, this was potent gas! Concerned that she had tummy troubles, I had her lie down and roll over and I gave her belly a rub.

Well, I nearly died! The smell almost knocked me out. And now it was on my hands. “That smells like skunk,” Mr. Man said, ever helpful.

So I chucked her outside again, jumped on the internet to find out how to get rid of skunk smell. What fun! 11:30 at night, we bathed the poor dog in a potion of Hydrogen Peroxide, baking soda and dishwashing liquid and then hosed her off. I toweled her dry as best I could then put her in the laundry room where it’s cozy and warm.

But in the morning the smell lingered. The poor dog couldn’t stand her own fragrance so when I let her outside, she rolled in dog poop. Feces-on-the-neck beats Eau de Skunk according to golden retrievers. So for a second bath, this time with another remedy gleaned from the internet.  Apparently, Listerine battles skunk breath as well as gingivitis. Now the house and Bella smell minty fresh with only a slight skunkish undertone. Methinks another bath is on the cards for us today.

Hopefully, Bella has learned her lesson and will skirt away from skunks from now on.

But as you know, every cloud has a silver lining. My writing exercise this week involves tackling a Fibonacci poem. I got the idea from Writer’s Digest magazine and thought it would be fun to try. I found the skunk debacle most inspiring, so here’s my 6 line fib. Enjoy, its skunkalicious!

 

Skunk

Spray

Pee-ew!

Poor Bella

Stinking up the house

Listerine bath fixed her fragrance




Adorable little stinkers! 

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
kellyrfineman
Nov. 5th, 2009 07:57 pm (UTC)
I can't believe you let me read the poem without first telling me it was based in fact! Poor Bella - and poor you!

(Didn't notice any skunk or Listerine undertones in your house today, btw.)
angeladegroot
Nov. 6th, 2009 01:03 am (UTC)
The joys of owning a dog! Maybe the smell is burnt into my brain and that's why I think it's lingering.
writerjenn
Nov. 6th, 2009 12:26 am (UTC)
Now that's a powerful mouthwash.
angeladegroot
Nov. 6th, 2009 01:05 am (UTC)
And we only used two months' supply. I should have taken photos of my green golden.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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